no comments

-does this mean i really have got nothing to say?
-or does it mean that i've got something to say but don't know how to phrase it?
-or, does it mean i feel i will say something that will offend someone so instead i keep my mouth shut?

go figure.. =p

haha! i'm back!!! at 0730 in my mom's office... sigh, should have just brought pillows and mattresses, could save on the travelling time too=p

had lotsa things to blog, but now that the excitement has died down, and i'm tired...so ya, just gonna say jay chou rocks!!! and i dont care what you say, it's true...JAY ROX!!

chalet was great fun, stayed up on the last night to talk, something we never did before.. and sadly, i dunno when we can do this again.. the guys are going to army le..just hope everything gets better in the end.. =)

meeting my darling evan tomorrow.. haha and my long awaited day of rest..
think i'm not going to be seeing most of my friends anytime soon, there's sec1 orientation on 23rd, plus stocktake on 24th and 25th.. there goes my christmas! =(

but, i will find time to have fun! being of course, me =p

haha the homepage of blogspot: Resistance is Futile-'Blog' US dictionary word of the year! =p

haven been b-l-o-g-g-i-n-g lately.. almost forgot my password.. hahha using computer in ma's office on the sly. finally had a dad-cooked meal today! happy!=D simple things sometimes bring the greatest joys... yay!!

super tired this week, think i've been dormant too long.. aching all over, muscle tensed up, cuts and bruises here and there. but, i'll get used to it, and i think i gotta run!

blogged, read others' blogs, and i'm back again. haiz. i knew from long ago that friendships do change.for the better and for worse. and i feel like making my blog private. should i change address? haha.

some friendships, from the start you know, are gonna withstand the trials of time. some friendships got better. some got worse. of course, the ones that get better make me happy. but then the ones that get worse, i know they're not coming back. and it hurts. perhaps that's why at some reunions, there's a 'cold' atmosphere. but even if only for old time's sake, i want to have a reunion too, just to let them know that ya, i treasure the time we had together.

thanks for being my friends, once in my life, you touched me. =)

heyz! how ya doing!?! it's going to be over soon!!! yay!! hahah and i start work on the 1st.. so i have time to be crazy for awhile.. heh heh..=p

hmm.. anyway.. i was kinda offended by what my father said yesterday. so i think parents should never be allowed to choose the traits of their children no matter how advanced technology becomes. i mean, no one will choose to have a disabled or stupid child right? then the world we'll end up with would be an elitist society! and then we all learn to despise people who are disabled or slower in learning. and that's not fair. competition at work or in school will be even worse, since everybody is made smart, then everyone will wanna fight to be the smartest of the smartest. yucks. i believe that to perform within your capability is most important. even though ur utmost if still not goood enough, at least effort was put in and that's enough. you can face your conscience and hence you can face the world without guilt. and i think that children with disabilities teach us how to love better. parents with disabled children, well, you cant help but admire their love and nobility for giving so much to their child. these children also look at the world through different eyes, and the world is simple to them. and i think most people would agree: simplicity is a nice thing. it sounds easy but is tough to attain. go read "red sky in the morning" by elizabeth laird if you have time la huh. no forcing you.

haha i typed a chunk just because my father said a friend's daughter got 273 for psle. haha lame right me? but hey! i'm your daughter, she's not!!

and ya, i found a second person who calls mi minghui xiao jie. hahah and unless you know who's the first person who calls me minghui xiaojie, you cannot ask me who is the second person. hahaha, but then again, did the first person call me minghui xiao jie or minghui gu niang? hahahha

continue to jiayou!! last lap le~!! sprint~! q(^o^)p

oh ya, do u think tt gers whu r petite n speak wif a very soft sweet voice gets more suitors? hahah juz a crazy tot.

i'm going to lament! haha why does this 2 weeks seem so impossible to pass? haha i sitting in my mom's office using her colleague's com. and my mom ask me to use jay chou as a motivating force. how to to explain to her that it is precisely due to jay chou that i hope this two weeks will be over soon?! haha lalala... studying is boring!! =p but let's all hang in there!

the greatest test of patience is to use my brother's com.. and of cos this 12 days ahead. to force myself to mug when all i wanna do is play. but i'm scared. for physics. cant sleep well cos of it. scared. grr

boring boring boring.. but then.. i've only got 7 more papers to go! and then it'll be a few days of letting my hair down! yay!! hahah jay chou cannot escape from my clutches! hahaha 26th Nov at the Singapore Indoor Stadium! and 2B chalet! and i'm going to highlight and pierce my ears! hahahha.. ok i sound so excited cos i am, but i must work hard for physics,maths n chem! =D take care ya'll!

it's a miracle i even get to type a blog.. my bro's IE keep restarting..haiz.. so yj cant blame me ar.. hahah n this girl (yj, not me) actually slept at 5am this morning so she pang seh me and is unable to come to my house to study. as a result, i am lacking in determination and orientation.. hahha been reading the newspapers and watching discovery. but don't fret. after i finish blogging i will go study. hee =)

making plans for the few days of play before going to work. 19 days to the end of it all! strive on everyone! =D

the only two things i did yesterday was- 1. play badminton and table tennis 2. attend cousin's wedding. hmm.. nothing else. never studied at all. sianz.

the guys suck. haiz. why after so many years, other classes can be so united, our class can be so fragmented? the guys lack manners, disgusting.

and the wedding dinner was b-o-r-i-n-g... the seating arrangment was weird. cause of the old stubborn folks insisting on their own choice of table mates. blea. our table was full of people i cant be bothered to remember, considering that i see them only about once every year. and there was this disgusting uncle. he was talking very loudly and gesticulating wildly about some ugly family affair, and his tone is one of arrogance and self-righteousness. he complained his wife teach his son not to acknowledge him, and the truth was, he went to batam and cheated on his wife. kaoz. he still can talk big. disgusting. argh.

haha, and we(my brother and i) have reached a conclusion that we should never hold a dinner when we get married. it'll be a small wedding. if we do hold a dinner, it'll be maximum ten tables for me. hahah no ulu pandan granduncles and whatever distant relatives. hahaha =p

trivia time! hahaha =D
- only 1 guy in 5 proposed on their knees...
- only half the guys wash hands after visiting the toilet...
- only 2 out of 5 guys say "i love u" to their wives daily..

above were some things printed on the back of compass point's new promotion "discounts for men--the women dont get it" haha lame =p

n ya... this is a small small world.. saw mrs nelly quek *pri one form teacher pro at throwing chalk and duster* at the dinner and mr chua *ahs sports teacher* was the best man..

time to go STUDY!!!
happy birthday hong!!~~!!

juz gonna hafta study n work harder for chem core paper. chem prac was a killer. haiz. but i shall not lament. as i'm done wif feeling sad. thanks gen,evan,ql n weeinn for cheering mi up.. =) as ql says, one paper down= one less paper to worry abt..

slp regular hours ALL of u!!! hee.. love ya!

finally!! i can view my blog..!! haha n i changed the skin! actually i prefer black backgrnd la.. budden i guess this one is kinda nice, so ya... =)

ydae was phys prac, which marks the start of my A level exam.. hope i'll do well, but hoping is nt enuff. gotta study hard to get the results i wan! n i'm gg out to gym (me-gym?!?!) with hong n yinjie.. haha =p

nth much.. tmr phys prac.. so ya, jiayou ok everyone? =) popped by to c yinjie's blog, v simple n nice.. haha thinking of changin skin, but still like this one lots lots.. so it'll stay.. =D n maybe, juz maybe, i'll change my blog address... hahah

gambatte! jiayou! press on!!

this is my 51st post on this blog.. haha guess i haven't been blogging for a while.. main reason, of cos exams la. budden, another big reason wld be tt evryone seems so depressed, so i shldnt be typing even more depressing things.. n besides, when i dun put my tots down into words, i feel more cheerful. i can tell myself, tmr will be better.. but when i c my depressing tots in words, i feel even more depressed. haha weird the wae i work,isnt it?

actually i dun feel so depressed as i used to feel in the past. is tt gd or bad? well, i now choose to believe tt a positive attitude will produce better results than a "i'm-so-gonna-die" mood.. so ya, maintaining eternal optimism.. life can only get better..

this time nx mth, it'll be over. hope i wun have regrets. =)

****if u wan the rainbow, u muz first learn to live wif the rain****

yo!! study hard!! n take care!!! =D

--shortest blog eva! =p --

tired. stressed. worried. frustrated. but ya, that's the usual emotions nowadays. qiuling keep telling me to cheer up, thing is i dun even sense my un-cheerfulness. nth seems to be able to make my day. perhaps when i accomplish some studying, but that'll be hard.

but, bottomline? cant give up. i wont, and u shouldnt too. =)

am i so useless in your eyes mom? heart pain. but i've learnt to ignore the pain and move on. pretend it doesnt hurt. pretend to succeed in deceiving myself.

miss evan.. hmm.. jiayou ger!

everybody's stressed out. looking for the most effective way to accomplish the greatest amount of studying in the shortest possible time. and it's left me lost, i dunno what to study. i dunno what's pushing me to keep on going. perhaps sheer dumbness and numbness. but well, cant afford to let myself down. not really disappointed with results, but then not over the moon either. it's just like i'm tired of going on a emotion roller-coaster ride, one moment sad, the next happy. so i'm just gonna try and be done with it.

can jerks and irritating idiots please stay far far away from minghui land? far away from me, far away from my friends who i care for.

learn to cope with stress, it'll be a constant companion day in day out, one fine day.

ostriches self-deluge by burying their heads in holes when they see trouble coming.. can i play peek-a-boo with exams too? lalala..

everyone's blog is turning into a wasteland.. it's evident. hmm

looking forward to year-end chalet, plus working at my mom's office, i guess i'm looking forward to anything after A levels. haha

yesterday's 5km walkathon was tiring.. but enjoyed the time with qiuling, just talking and talking..

hope i can stay off the computer, and also my handphone to get down to some serious work. =(

cheer up everyone, light's at the end of the tunnel~ =)

despondent and optimistic in just one blog alone.. i'm going mad =p

gg out for 3 consecutive days le, and my mom's just said last night, she's scared my past efforts(aka before prelims) would go down the drain. and i'm stressed again. but i've learnt to heck care, and i'll only find out about the consequences of my heck care attitude months later. but don't worry, i'll still be studying. i won't go without a fight, at least i wanna be able to say i tried. ql blogged that she's gonna take it easy this few days since it's gonna be a long road ahead. hmm but i think, it's a tough journey which will be over soon. 41 days to the battefield, and 4 weeks after that it'll be over. that'll be a short and hopefully painless war. casualties shouldn't be many, since many have gone through this and came out survivors. i aim to be one of those survivors, do i dare to hope for a medal of honour? hmm

i belive we all can do it, once we put our heart and soul to it. 12 years of hard work should never boil down to one month of exams. nevertheless, since we're already here, might as well push ourselves to make it through.

most scared of post-prelims slacking. scold mi k?

the months of endless possibilities after As.. i want to be able to enjoy it without guilt. or worry.

left with one last design paper on thurs, which means i have technically finished my exams.. haha dunno what to study for paper 5 also ma.. =p chem really is use tikam one.. maths stats ok la, but maclaurin's sux. haha

bones breaking.. haha walked very very long with gen todae..and i tell u~!! TM changed alot.. haha shocking.. it seems like everywhere's being upgraded or renovated.. hmm 0_O

5 more weeks to A levels!!!!! kinda unbelievable huh? seems like damn, it's so fast~!!!!! n it is. i muz study.. it'll be over in 9 weeks. kinda unfair ar? 2 years of work examined in 4 weeks.. and it'll decide my future. haiz. cruel world eh? no leeway for failures.

gen, jiayou for 1000 pieces puzzle~!~! hahah =D

memories, precious to u n mi =D it's been a long time since then hasn't it, dear? those times were cute, but to have u now by my side is sweeter.. love u~! =D

i died for physics. i made a bet with dayana, which i am confused and most probably have forgotten already right now. hahaha.. hmmm gek sim. but then, haiz. i dunno anymore.

3 bdae cards, cross-stitch in progress, u better buy me some kinda plants ar.. =p

weeinn mian zi da, change dae to sat.. haha =)

ql ask mi to blog abt her.. hahah which i will, right now.. =p think both of us are tired of worrying and are getting more and more optimistic lately.. which is a gd thing, isn't it? worrying tires a person out.. =) being happy makes us more radiant.. hahaha

planning post exam activities le.. muz haf sth nice to look forward to rite? =p muz book ahead if u wan mi hor.. i bz ger ar.. hahah thurs is gen dae.. fri is hong dae.. sat and sun up for grabs~! =D

tmr is phys 1 n 2. despair. =(

BUT~!! i get to see my dear~ after 11 days!!!!! wahahahahaha

yesterday's maths and physics i heard were killers.. but then perhaps the extent of damage has not yet been surveyed, or else it must have been that i'm still reeling from the double impact. haha anyway, i got no paper today, so i'm studying for chem 2 and phys 1 n 2.. supposed to be meeting dear today, but well, we changed to fri.. haha he wants me to study.. which i shall be doing now.. :P

we've travelled too far now for us to give up
press on and we'll see the fruit of our hard work
never say die and remain optimistic
it'll all be over soon=D
meanwhile take care ya?

i better see the gals after prelims, before the next round of studying starts..

there's compulsive shoppers, drug abusers, are there such people called compulsive muggers? hmm mugging jialat already lehz, compulsive mugging? **shakes head**

Virgo 12th sept

Section 1: The Inner You: Your Real Motivation
At heart you are modest and humble, and you rarely strive to be in the limelight or in a position of power. You have a sharp analytical mind, a keen eye for detail, and you prefer to observe, dissect, and study life from a distance. Conscientious and conservative, you can be relied upon to be careful, efficient, and thorough in your work and you take pride in doing a job well. What you may lack in self-confidence you often make up for in skill - developing expertise, technical knowledge, and competency in some specialized area. You are adept at using your hands to create or fix things, and meticulous attention to detail and careful craftsmanship are your forte. Some would say you are a little TOO meticulous, for you can be extremely critical and petty if everything is not done exactly as you think it should be, and you worry about things that other people consider trivial and unimportant. You like to organize, categorize, and arrange everything into a logical system, and you are often distinctly uncomfortable when something does not fit into a neat category. Disorganization vexes you. You probably wish that you were not such a perfectionist, for besides being a stickler for details, you can be mercilessly self-critical as well. Whether in your environment or in yourself, you tend to focus on the flaws, with a desire to improve, refine, and perfect. You are strictly factual, truthful, and scrupulously honest in your self-estimation, and you often do not give yourself enough praise or credit.

Section 2: Mental Interests and Abilities
You are an exacting perfectionist with a clear, logical, analytical mind and an aptitude for work that requires meticulous attention to detail and efficient organization. Well-grounded and pragmatic, you tend to develop specialized skills and technical expertise in some practical field. Knowledge, ideas, and theories don't really interest you unless they are useful in a tangible way. You are inclined to analyze, measure, and dissect everything and to miss nuances, subtle shades of feeling and meaning. Your strengths are in your precise thinking, careful craftsmanship, and mastery of technical skills. You tend to be very good at what you do and critical of others' work if it does not meet your high standards.

i'm bored la.. paisae hahah physics and maths paper tmr!!! -.-

Not Your Average Thug--Leehom

I keeps it versatile, cause that's my style
From hip-hop to be-bop
I been with shorties round the world Variety is just my personality
Sometimes I just don't fit in I see open doorways
But no one wants to let me in
Grandma made me understand material things don't make the man
Try to find that inner wealth and learn to love yourself
Lately it's so hard to find peace of mind
I just gotta get away from the hater and the instigators
The mis-conceivers and the non-believers
People don't believe the hype 'cause Leehom ain't no stereotype

No Crystale in the tub Or iced out Spreewell clubs
I'm really not your average thug Not your average gangster
And i won't be defined by the size of my knot But the state of my mind
No Rolex on my wrist Or platinum on my chest
'Cause I don't need that sh to impress
But ya'll don't get it twisted I got love for the ghetto
Tho I'm not your average thug

(Feel me) Lord I been around the world
Singin' near and far
People runnin' game all over
Judgin' me before we meet When they see me on the street
And they don't know a damn thing about me
It's a world of jealousy deceit and envy
Seems like everybody tryin' to take something from me
Grandma made me understand material things don't make the man
So I found that inner wealth and learned to love myself
Lately it's so hard to find peace of mind (lately it's so hard)
I just gotta get away from the hater and the instigators
There's back-stabbers and money grabbers, users and abusers and they all wear smilin' faces

Sometimes I feel like I'm gonna snap, and go off up in this place on somebody
I ain't tryin' to say no names, but I ain't tryin' to play no games, holla if you feel me people
Lately it's so hard to find peace of mind, so lift me up in a lonely world that's so unkind
There's back-stabbers and money-grabbers, users and abusers and they all wear smilin' faces

No Crystale in the tub Or iced out Spreewell clubs
I'm really not your average thug Not your average gangster
And i won't be defined by the size of my knot But the state of my mind
No Rolex on my wrist Or platinum on my chest
'Cause I don't need that sh to impress
But ya'll don't get it twisted I got love for the ghetto
Tho I'm not your average thug

( Shorties I just need that ghetto love
Take a dip in my jacuzzi
Don't misjudge me 'cause I'm my own man now
Sometimes I don't even wear no watch
Everybody needs some ghetto love
see, I'm not your average thug)

18 yrs old todae~!! haha

received many birthday wishes from friends who stole time out to sms me and wish me all the best.. an unexpected birthday card also left me feeling touched. perhaps i'm growing old and sentimental.. but i do treasure these little acts that show that my friends care and remember.. =) thanks to all who've been in my life!

at a crucial time like this, when tomorrow's the prelims, to remember my birthday is an especially sweet thing, and hence i'm touched.. haha 3 people sms me around 12mn to wish me happy birthday, think they must still be studying hard at that hour.. well, studies are important, but please remember to take care of your health..

continue to jiayou~ we're almost there^-^ !!!!!

countdown... ah~! =O

gen is at my hse right now~! and she's eating.. hahaha =p we went and bought lotsa things at the prime mart behind my house la. i think everytime someone wants to study at my house, prime mart will earn lotsa money. hahahha all thanks to us~! =D

just read one mail sent by tingyan, with an address linking to that stripper in yellow undies on singapore idol. wa! see le can puke man~!~! puke puke puke~! vomit blood. that guy is definitely sick in the head, with an ultra huge ego, and he sure never look into the mirror before, otherwise how can he think himself a hunk? omg.

gen asked, between a rich ok-looking guy who you dun love, and a ok-looking not rich guy who you love, who would you choose? at least i think that's her question la. cos i got short term memory again. haha

mugging is not a term invented for me,i have never been known to comply to the meaning of mug. that is for the extremists. which sadly i am not. hmm perhaps converting to a full-time mugger will allow me to have better grades. but it's hard to convert. cos.. I'M LAZY~! i have the means to achieve my goal, but i lack the will. haiz. sigh. blea.

no one to blame but myself. hmm.

but i'm not down. eternal optimism yeah?~! =)

i am afraid to step into adulthood. can i be a kidult too? i dream that adulthood would be some kinda paradise, when i can zip off to anywhere in the world for my dream holiday. to me, the future seems to yield happier times, but what if it will not be the case? grr *growing dread* i'm becoming 18~!!!

2 things were on my mind last night. but one i have already forgotten. haha nevermind. the one i remember has something to do with the last page article in Time magazine. it was a father lamenting that his daughter is growing up too fast. it struck a chord within me. well, how should i say it? many years ago, fathers are sterotyped as wanting only sons, to carry on the family line. they dote on sons more, pampering them with the sort of treatment daughters will never get. and now, it seems things have changed.

once, at my mum and dad's workplace, one of their colleagues asked me " your father dotes on you more right? and your mum dotes on your brother more?" that set me thinking... is it true? since then, i've read many articles celebrating the unique bond of fathers and daughters. perhaps it is due to the fact that these articles erase the stereotype that fathers love sons and not daughters, but whatever it is, they caught my attention.

i personally feel that my father is not biased in loving me or my brother. but sometimes i do feel that he does dote on me more. and i am proud, in the knowledge that i've not let him down, the one man who frets constantly for our health and well-being. and i hope as i grow up, i will only make him prouder, not less.

all the articles i read include the father's aching pain in his heart when he realises that his girl has grown up into a woman, and will no longer sit in his lap listening to bedtime stories. the daughter has an independent mind of her own and will often not listen to him. i know this is happening to me too, but every now and then, i hug my dad goodnight to let him know that no matter what, i'll always be his daughter, the little girl who grows up to be a woman who loves him with all her heart.

i did sth to irritate and tease dear juz nw..hee but i noe i'm insensitive.. i dunno.. he saes i do it becos i'm angry wif him. but i dunno. violent mood swings. not due to pms. so maybe i am angry at sth someone. but i juz dunno hu. everything will be better tmr~! =) but i c dear's pek cek face i still wanna laugh.. =p hee hee~ =p

does apple go wif strawberry?? ya i guess they do, so long as tt's the wae u and i like it =D

love u~!

this is a period of trial. and everyone's coping with it the best they can. evan typed a crazy atypical blog, qiuling expressed irritation with someone and i got unreasonable with gen. i dunno what happened. i didn't even realise it till gen asked "what's wrong with you? angry with me today ar?" then i felt guilty. haiz. didn't mean to be so grouchy.sorry gen. =)

10 days left to prelims? hmm wanna do something to salvage my slacking situation but then i know it's kinda fruitless. oh well. cheer up and buck up. determination is all i need.

i'm a person who is easily affected by the people or state of things around me. and i dun like it. feels like i dun have a fixed mind of my own. haiz. perhaps i'm just too kiasee to stick up for my own decision. i dun like going back and forth on one decision. but i often do it, only to further agonise myself. haiz. what the hell am i doing? dunno myself anymore..

we travel to lose ourselves, and subsequently, to find ourselves. feel so much like travelling now. anywhere would be ok.

i cant contact sc.. i dunno where he is.. i dunno if he's alright. and it's driving me crazy.

bz nite yesterday..but it was great to see old frens again.. =D reached home at 1230am..haha after dinner at cartel from 5pm to 8pm..followed by supper at block 85 market till 11pm then off to simei to meet evan for one hour.. hahah after that dear came to simei to send me home..

nice to see mindan after so long,but abit sad that joyce got held up and couldn't come. sadder still to hear what evan said when i met her.. she would have gladly been there, but.. haiz. nvm la.. hopefully as time goes by, people learn to forgive and forget. =)

n i guess i'm never gonna see tingyan or shell or baoying till after As..hmmm and i miss talking to them sia..

to make dear travel to and fro kallang and punggol i feel so bad.. cos it makes him tired, and the distance is so far lor. but he insists and i do wanna c him, so ya =) hee..

11 days to being 18~!
n 12 days to prelims!!!!!!

tmr's gonna be study hard dae..cos gen n diana sim coming my hse study.. n feast on junk food too i guess...gen seems worried that my hse doesnt have junk food.. hahha

mondae's phys prac..after that meeting dear for dinner.. finally get to meet him.. more than a wk.. can kill =p but i really miss him alot! muackz**

haha and on tues...i'll be celebrating my bday 2 wks in advance.. haha first time so early celeb.. but it's ok la.. i noe evrybody wanna study.. haha so ya.. meeting ql they all for dinner.. and hong they all for supper.. haha turning into a pig.. and by "they all" i dunno hu'll be turning up.. but it's ok.. the thought that counts =)

time's running short.. but believing that i can do it~! =D though i nid regular doses of encouragement=p

the days are flying past. and i'm really really into a mood. 21 days to prelims according to shaun..70 plus days to A-levels. gotta push myself. frantic!!!!! =(

ever read in the news about those chinese women approaching lao ah peks in the kopitiams of geylang? haiz.. i had the great misfortune to witness such a thing today. suay

was studying at bedok princess mac with hong leen weeinn..one group of 4 men in their 50s n 60s came in together with 3 women in their 40s and sat one table away.they talked loudly and were getting on my nerves. we keep exchanging disgusted looks. do you know what one ah pek did? he reached across the table and stroked the wrist of a woman who was so obviously not his wife~!!!! oh my god. kaoz. so disgusting. yuck

n they say the youth today are horrible.who would have thought that people who are older would have the equal amount of no sense to do such a thing that makes my hair stand? goosebumps. yuck. and the way that ahpek talk, really ar.. tiko pek. buay tahan. grrr~

li jiawei lost~!! sad=( why are we always so near yet so far?

haiz. what's the difference between electrolytic cell and electrochemical cell? ELECTROCHEM. >_<

dun be together with a person who has not forgotten his ex.i support ur choice gerl.. =) jiayou~!

can someone teach mi how to keep my complexion from becoming jialat? slp late wake up early= pimple outbreak~!! tmr i'm supposed to be at bedok mac at 8am.. n i'm still awake.. shall go catch my much needed sleep now~

jiayou ar everyone!~ don't give up till the last minute!! p(^o^)q

the amount of stress is piling up. i will study. i would want to be able to face my own conscience and know that i've tried all i could. don't wanna hate my own laziness when i'm older.

getting older soon..why must my birthday be exactly one day before prelims? hahah super sad. but S24 is having a barbecue!~! =D one day break in a tiring week of studying.. thank god!

studies is encroaching on my breathing space.. it's getting harder to breathe..

dear~sorry yesterday i made u sad...promise i won't be so stupid and dumb again.. dui bu qi! >.< i love u darlin~!but please try to be less piggy okie? =p

will be in school till 9pm tomorrow.. gambatte~! jiayou~!

anything is impossible..when you believe.. =D

feeling super evil today, cause i find myself selfish. ya.. and i am thinking that you may know me, but may not understand me.. haha cause i am complex. i will show my real mood only when i am at home or with family members. but i don't usually show my anger around friends. sure, they've seen me blue, but it's really nothing compared to the moods i sometimes have at home.somehow i just don't seem to show it that much when in school or out of home. so i guess, cohabitating(?) is the best kind of thing for people like me.. must first test the guy see if he can tahan me not being a domestic sort of woman who likes to whip up dishes in the kitchen, see if he can stand my unreasonably black faces.. poor guy who marries me ar? hahaha =p

of so many years of studying, i really think studying sucks. hahah first time i really mean it. buay tahan. wanna wave white flag surrender. but my parents believe i can do it. and my friends are encouraging me to do it. so for now, i guess i will try to live up to others' expectations, because i don't know whether i believe in myself to have the ability to do it. still with me so far? or are u lost in my blabbering?

told gen to call me at 8am tomorrow morning to try her luck, see if she can get me out of my bed.. should i switch off my hp? hahha =D i really don't want to go to school tomorrow.. 4 lessons.. pathetic timetable.. but risk incurring mrs lim's wrath? rather not.

bit cant be bothered by one of my friends. why tell me the mushy lovey dovey stuff? i not his gf..how to help him solve? haiz. selfish me. but i kinda cant stand it. >.<

but feeling blissful.. hee.. love my darling~! muackiez! =D

i'm becoming a boring old girl...one thing is gradually eclipsing all other aspects of my life.. need i say more? duh, it's studies. but i refuse to be bugged by it, will not let myself cry over it. there's not much time left, but i can only do what i can, and pray that it'll work. damn. 2 years gone like that.. waste of youth. must agree with the rest of the world--singapore emphasises too much on academic performance.

still in a good mood though, over the national day's fireworks display... haha the view from kallang is good.. superbly wonderful, especially with my dear with me =D we watch fireworks together every year okie? ^*muackz*^ miss u so much right now.. i need your hugs ~!~!

the weeks pass by so quickly.. man, studying is tiring... =p

two countdowns: 32 days to prelims papers, and 31 days to my 18th (sweet?) birthday.. life's really bittersweet huh?

i'm dead tired.. bones cracking..but i'm happy =D just played badminton with the 2b people..only 7 of us, but since it's been such a long time, it's fun.. just don't play with zhiyong, he makes people run left and right, and he plays those super light-handed style- the kind where you have to position yourself near the net then can catch one.. hahah super tiring to play with him..

had a tournament.. hahaha lame one la.. first was guangyang, second zhiyong, third hongling, n i was 4th kangjie and baoying i dunno who's 5th who's 6th....haha but all in the name of fun only la.. yinjie made some brownies which she brought to share with us..hmm lately all the girls around me are stepping into the kitchen to either bake or cook *guilty* hahha=p her brownies were nice, a bit too sweet..but very chocolatey=D

during lunch we decided on the date for chalet.. 28-30 november.. yay~!!! last year no chalet, or maybe i didn't go.. so i'm looking forward to this year's.. hardly see them anymore lor.. today then realise i never see kangjie for more than a year..hahha

i think 2b is the class i feel closest to..but i think it's because of the things we did after we left the class, cause i don't remember many memorable moments when we were in sec 1 and 2..

currently being shouted at.. cos my handphone calls amount to $50++ ..hmm guilty! so don't call me unless urgent k? hahha

computer's back.. thank god.. and i think now i shall sleep.. to prevent my mom shouting at me..and to rest my old bones.. =D take care ya'll~

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

priorities,priorities,priorities. haha.. can i do it?

6mths with my dear yesterday!! yay~!! happy=D many many more anniversaries to come.. muackz*! i love u dear..4ever..

cant watch ella enchanted with hong and shell le. haiz..so irritating..why must it be so? hmm never mind..sure got other chances.. =)

nothing to blog about.so ya, take care ya'll

simplicity's hard. but it seems that discipline's even harder. how on earth do people like genevieve actually find time to revise tys when every night i go home i just want to sleep? admirable effort seh! *applause* but i must also strive for that kind of discipline. hee=p

have you ever been mad at someone for not messaging you for two days? haha i have, but it only shows that i care about my dear alot. hee.. i will support your decision, since it is something that you want to do. i love you. muacks*! =D

haven't seen evan,hong,leen weeinn for a very long time. hope to see them pretty quick, before i miss them more, and before we have to strive doubly hard.. let's work hard together gals! =D and my bday's coming! hahahhahaa =p take care ya'll!

*c-a-c-k-l-e*c-a-c-k-l-e*!! OH NO!!! AH!! oh my god! how?!  !£^%&*£$^CRASH!£^%&*£$^! what was that???!!! nope, it wasn't my com ( or in this case, my bro's com) that crashed.. it was me! wa.. today i'm super tired.. t-i-r-ed! really dragged myself home, up the hill, across the roads, down the hill, 15 minutes in all [when usually it takes me a lot less than that] even ah peks walk faster than me lor.. i hate tuesdays, but i've resolved to go for all lessons from this week forth. so i shall be good. and i hope it'll help. hahaha =p
 
did a super long chemistry practical today, and my fingers are a little bit yellow, stupid potassium chromate. haha but at least better than potassium manganate on my uniform.
 
woohoo! 2/3 of my class is not going for tomorrow's lessons, the remaining 7 people are going. i expect miss yap will faint? =p haha 7 of 21 people.. shortest line in all of year 2..? i think highly possible.. hee =D no wonder everyone's conduct is graded as 'fair'
 
naughty evan.. got parents meeting this saturday, plus tuition, so i guess i have to make another appointment with her. hahah busy girl.=p next time message me la, don't call. okie? must remember you are using private number, and there's about 99% chance i won't know it's you if is missed call. hee =p
 
haha gen asked one question yesterday, and another one today. yesterday's question was :what is it to like a person?  hee.. would anybody like to volunteer some answers?
 
qiuling said "liking someone is to have a special place in your heart for him. and you would want to see him even though you have just seen him just a moment ago"
i agree.. haha plus all the little indicators that just show he's more than just a friend to you, when u keep all his smses, when you dont mind staying up late into the night to wait for his call or goodnight message, when you just want to peep at him, see his smile... you know you like him, even if you keep telling yourself otherwise. haha take it from me, there's no denying your feelings. =p
another friend offered his opinion:your heart will start pumping rapidly when you see her,you cant stop thinking of her everyday, you really want to tell her you like her, but you're scared to get rejected... hmm nice to see things from both viewpoints =D
 
today gen's question is: why do you close your eyes when kissing?haha..don't ask me why. it's just a natural thing. it's rude to stare. hahah any other suggested answers?
 
tomorrow's plan is to go out with qiuling..i just confirmed with her like 5 minutes ago.. but now hmm.. have to see le. but i think she needs cheering up. we all do la.. haha everybody in school today is so sianz.zzzz. except the boys la. which is unusual of them. usually they are the sianz ones, whereas the girls are more chatty. hmm.. pms is in the air. hahha
 
my brother is a pig. really a pig. he has to leave the house for tuition by 715pm, and when i reached home at 645pm, he still hasnt even bought his dinner. and all along he's been watching the tv. oh my god. how piggy can he get? hahah must be inherited.. tsk tsk..
 
tomorrow i plan to buy a backpack, or my back'll break soon. soon. pengz. haha my bones really cracking le. and i need a new pair of shoes, or else running along the tack, you'll suddenly spot a shoe flying off.. haha that'll be mine. =p
 
i type this blog for an hour. i cant believe it. hahah.. long enough blog for today. shall go off le. to rest my lousy ageing body. cheer up everyone! life's good! hahaha =D

cried for the first time in my life over something which never seemed to bother me so much in the past--studies. haiz. cried le then feel stupid. seems like i dun care, but actually i do..an awful lot.
 
suddenly feel that time is running out. just not enough time to wake up and move on.what to do? can only try mybest right? haha of course this are not the things that exactly went through my head when i cried. at that time just felt so helpless. whyy was i so lazy? yucks.  
 
but i've gotten a hold on myself, i need to overcome the fear of A-levels. fear is not going to help me achieve the results i want,it'll only impede my progress. i shall buck up! =D  
 
i miss dear so much.. haiz, mum asked me to reduce the amount of time with him, but i dont want and i dont think it's fair. so i shall try my best to juggle my time. cannot let him down ar! =D i need your hugs to give me strength to go on.. huggiez!**~ miss u miss u so so much!  
 
sea carnival coming up. hmmm should i go? but kallang's so far.. though i know i make the trip often.. =p but still...it's far! hahaha and what if i cant run away after taking attendance? hahah  
 
saturday i'm studying with evan, since last saturday's program of studying and swimming was cancelled. miss my ahs friends alot..like to hear about their life, and see how they're getting on..  
 
pek cek with space bar. do maths le!  
 
dont miss me!!=p [hate the space bar of the school computer, bit siao..]  
 

didnt do much studying this week, been busy with the presents for my dear's birthday, but now i think i must really study hard. make up for lost time. haha if not evan will scold me. =p
 
parents currently now at meet-the-parents session la. think what they hear will make them faint. i'm not as good a girl as they thought. i do not attend all lessons, though now i shall try hard to. still, i hate the school management for giving me such a horrible timetable. yucks. first time in my 12 years of sch education did they have to attend a mtp session. obvious enough signal that my results is at its worst? hahah
 
i dont really have anything to blog lehz, just thought i should make a regular appearance? hahaha
 
next week wednesday got sea carnival plus racial harmony day. i am confirmed not going to school. ! hahha
 
all of you should study hard, yes, including you my dear.. =p
 
someone countdown no. of days to prelim? so i know when's my birthday coming.. hahhaha
 

actually.. the last time i blogged was saturday. that wasnt very long ago, was it? hahha but it sure does seem long.. =p

sunday nite, i was sorta cornered by my parents la.. they went out to buy breakfast for the next day, and when they came home, my mom said "girl, go to your room, we have something to talk to you" the start of the converstation is already like that, can tell what's coming up right? yalar, as predicted, her next sentence was "what happened for the exams?" then blablabla..the usual stuff about having to study hard and all those things.. and then my dad asked "is the lousy results the only reason for your recent mood?" i immediately on high alert. indeed, i knew what was coming up next. my kpo neighbour, whoever he is, told my parents about seeing a guy with me. so yeah, now they know about my boyfriend. though nothing about the name or how he looks like.. =p my mom even funnier, asked me whether is it one-sided or mutual? lol..=p

tomorrow's dear's birthday!! yay! but he ends at 4pm.. so i'll meet him quite late i guess.. but i miss him so much.. hee, his sms last night brought back sweet sweet memories for me too! =D **muackz darling!**

realised my blog does not contain archives link, nor any other links for that matter. haha.. which means all of you should be more diligent to read my blog, but then again, i don't blog daily. =p and links can be dangerous(that the word?), as seen from dayana's blog. haha

woke up super duper early today. i know it's 9am.. but hello! it's a saturday! and i usually sleep till 10am? haha reason being yesterday i too piggy. slept in the afternoon from 130pm to around 4 or 5. guess yesterday being the last day of the week, everybody was super tired la. my brother conked, dayana conked, i conked, even dear also conked. haha

not going to throw in the towel and surrender yet. i believe i can do it. but i got a feeling i may be grounded soon. haha.pa nagging me to turn off my handphone in school, or just leave it at home. argh, so irritating. must reduce interaction time but still must let them know i spend alot of time studying at home. haha tough job.

let's work hard together! yay! =D 12 years of education is not going to go down the drain,not when we're gonna give it our best efforts!

i'm not being cheerful and optimistic, but hey, the other option is to wallow in depression. isnt looking on the brighter side of life better? hee =)

even if my previous blog makes everything look so bleak, please have faith in yourself that you can do it. i believe in myself, so should you. and i'm here with you every step of the way. let us work hard to strive towards that common goal okie? cheers! =)

--In reality, serendipity accounts for one percent of the blessings we receive in life, work and love. The other 99 percent is due to our efforts.
Peter McWilliams

--Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
Thomas A. Edison

--Few things are impossible to diligence and skill. Great works are performed not by strength, but perseverance.
Samuel Johnson

and finally....
--When you play, play hard; when you work, don't play at all.
Theodore Roosevelt

my blog today would be just ranting..aka rubbish. so you can choose to just skip it. wait for the next entry if you want,but i got to blog. =p too talkative? maybe.. hahah

official first day of lessons yesterday, and i got back all my three papers for the common test. what can i say? i disappointed myself, disappointed my parents. shocked myself, shocked them too. never before do i remember getting so lousy results.loss for words. wonder if i've just been too lazy? or have i been studying using the wrong method? or am i just not studying? first time in my life i feel that the prospects are so bleak. BLEAK. cant imagine life 4 months ahead. A-levels is not like O-levels, can "last-month" mugging help? i pray that it will. or i'm a goner. GONER.

last night after the talk with my mom, i felt that i should be able to do better. i do not have to worry about anything besides my studies, it's true. my family is financially stable,so there's no worry about money. my family is also peaceful, as in there are no quarrels to disturb me. so why am i shortchanging myself? only one answer i guess, i'm not hardworking enough.LAZY.

told qiuling today that to be stupid is sad, but to be lazy, is even sadder. know what i mean? well, smart or stupid is not something i can choose, but then, hardworking or lazy is something that only i can decide. and should i fail, then the only person to be blamed is me. ME. the responsibility of studying lies solely on ME. and i should not let any other things distract me. there shall be NO EXCUSES for my laziness. NO EXCUSES.

never ever felt more down now than any other point of time. beginning to seriously consider what is the possibility of me scoring well for A-levels. mugging is seriously unlike me, really. but i guess i've to start moving my ass, and hopefully, my brain will start working too. can i make up for lost time in lazyland?

i know i'm supposed to study for no one else but myself, yet i hate disappointing my parents. they do their best to provide me with what i need, surely the least i can do is to study hard? why cant i just forgo some pleasures for the next few months? but sometimes a part of me also wonders, then when can i really get to enjoy myself? knowing full well, of course i will. i just have to work pass this huge obstacle in front of me, and then the world won't seem so dark anymore.

where do i start? how do i get where i want to go? directions? hints? clues? nothing. all i know is I HAVE TO STUDY HARD! for what? university. for who? myself. really? i don't know.

at this point, life seems hopelessly gone case. but after tonight i shall hopefully find in me a renewed strength to go on, to face up to the daunting challenges of improving my grades. I CAN DO IT! other people have, why not i?

even in my darkest moments, i know you'll be here for me. i miss you.. i need your hugs to give me courage and strength.. i want to hold you and hide in your embrace, please tell me everything will be ok. i need you so bad...

i am losing faith in myself. tomorrow will be a better day.

I'll be your dream,
I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy.
I'll be your hope,
I'll be your love be everything that you need.
I love you more with every breath truly madly deeply do..
I will be strong I will be faithful
'cause I'm counting on
A new beginning.
A reason for living.
A deeper meaning.
I want to stand with you on a mountain.
I want to bathe with you in the sea.
I want to lay like this forever.
til the sky falls down on me...
And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky,
I'll make a wish send it to heaven then make you want to cry..
The tears of joy for all the pleasure in the certainty.
That we're surrounded by the comfort and protection of
The highest powers. In lonely hours. The tears devour you..
I want to stand with you on a mountain,
I want to bathe with you in the sea.
I want to lay like this forever,
Until the sky falls down on me...
Oh can't you see it baby?
You don't have to close your eyes
'cause it's standing right here before you.
All that you need will surely come...
I'll be your dream
I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy.
I'll be your hope
I'll be your love be everything that you need.
I'll love you more with every breath truly madly deeply do...
I want to stand with you on a mountain,
I want to bathe with you in the sea.
I want to lay like this forever,
Until the sky falls down on me...


.:our song:.

i'm mad. so mad. roar! how can this be! so unbelievable. i'm shocked. how can portugal lose? how can my blog be eaten up? damn. so angry. haha but still greece played a great game, and their defence was super strong. near the goalpost area always white in colour one. pro.and i was stupid not to save my blog. blea. hahaha

i was reflecting on the difference between jc life and secondary school life. prefers, still do, life back in ahs. back then there was a cca i loved dearly, friends who were close and who i always had fun with. now, there's much more stress, much less enjoyment, much less friends. but hey! i cant always dwell on the past! life now is pretty good too, if i really think about it. i get more freedom, and ah... ah.. ah.. hahaha it's still good la.. at least now that my friends are always separated, we get to treasure each other more, and relish our once-in-a-blue-moon gatherings more. =D

people who don't know me may regard me as a cold person,unfriendly maybe, attitude problem perhaps. am i really like that? i'm just a bit fierce, with a horrible temper, and a tendency to be quieter, even around close friends. i'm more of a listener i guess, you wont find me talking alot. haha seldom la.

talking to a friend online just now, he was telling me that any relationship is not easy to maintain. well, it's true. that's y we should all learn to put in effort for our relationships and treasure the one we love...

my blog is considerably shorter than the original one which i intended to publish, but this should do. hahha =p

i like the new layout of my blog.. hee nice =D nw at sc's hse, n it's gonna rain soon.. thinking of wad to do abt my gp hw, sure cant fin one lor.. haha nvm la hor.. try my best shld be gd enuf. budden the english used in the compre is abit too chim for mi.. muz brush up--possible? =p

the original plan was tt tmr the gers, aka hong leen mi yinjie weeinn, will be gg out. either for kbox or movie "windstruck". but turns out the plans were cancelled.so i shall be home tmr, be a gd ger do gp. hahah

lately i nv blog deep tots. haha juz casual accounts of the daes i had.. hmm..

finally common tests fin le, 6 daes of hols!! tues then start worrying abt the results la huh.. haha budden i still have gp holiday homework to worry about la, sianz.. who ask me so lazy, didnt wan to do it earlier? haha can only blame myself..

but i had fun this past week =D wed dear came to my hse for the whole afternoon, n we watched spiderman together..cos i haven watched it yet.. yes, i mean spiderman 1.. hahha dun be shocked lehz. =p thurs we went to watch spiderman2 b4 eating dinner with shaun n qiuling at long john, the reason being we (shaun, ql n i) planned to go night safari.. haha we very free hor? travel all the way to the north west of singapore.. supposed to take 168 to woodlands then change to bus 926.but only when we reached then we realise that it is only in service on weekends. so no choice, travelled to choa chu kang by mrt, to take bus 927. i think.. hahha i cant rmb le..

night safari was not too bad, but the entrance fee very expensive ar. adult pay $18 lehz.. somemore not inclusive of the tram ride, for which you have to pay additional $6. but the girl at the ticket counter is so cute lor, she gave us child's price, only $9 =D and we decided to walk rather than take tram, though there will be parts of the safari inacccessible to us. (wan save money ma, hahah)

didnt spend alot of time at the safari, reached around 930pm, left about 11pm? took 138 to ang moh kio interchange to take 22 back to tampines.. we reached tampines about 1240am. n went to eat supper..haha after tt lousy shaun say he cannot make it, so walked home to sleep. ql n i got no place to go so we walked around central for a while before deciding to go sunplaza park to sit on the swings n talk.. hmm talked quite alot ar, mostly abt r/s la..

after that we decided to go gunni's hse to watch the match of czech vs greece.. and it was the first match of the euro cup that ql n i watch..haha.. i think we scared gunni, cos he called reinforcement over. maybe he shy la huh, cos he older than us by three years, so nothing much to talk about, so he called daosong over..haha that two crazy seniors had durian for supper =p

at arnd 525am we left gunni's hse to meet shaun at tampines interchange to take 31 to watch sunrise at east coast park.. but when we reached the bus stop, it started raining quite heavily. yet the sky still cleared up.. didnt get to see the sun rise from the horizon, but still it was my first sunrise. hopefully next time round i'll get to see a more beautiful one that isnt obscured by clouds.. morning air is so fresh, should wake up ealier next time. haha

pretty long blog rite? haha sorry ar.. cos i had a nice past week.. hope all of you enjoyed ur past few days too.. =D

most of the ppl arnd mi nw can only possibly haf one thing on their mind--the much dreaded JUNE COMMON TESTS!! so irritating.. think half the world of jc2s din study..n the other half mugged like siao.. obviously i nt the latter la.. but i dun think i qualify for the former too.. hahah cos i too kiasee le.. so studied, but ya, nt really mugged. hahha understand the difference? mug is more jialat kinda studying.. haah

evryone waiting for common tests to be over soon, so am i la.. haha 6 daes of holidaes... in which i haf to spend a few daes to do my gp hols hw, which i've been draggin till nw.. haha dun care, it shant spoil my mood..

wanna watch spiderman!!! n mean gers!! n ella enchanted too!! i think the whole of june hols i only watch 2 movies? hahaha harry potter n arnd the world in 80 daes..

15 hrs to physics n geog paper.. hahaha

n todae's our 5th anniversary!!! *muackz* i love u -=*^eternity^*=-

yoohoo** hee.. dun expect mi online for the nx few daes k.. com down.. budden i also nid to study maths, which i think is quite hard to pass.. hahha but i'll try my best.. =D

cant wake for common tests to be over..then i'll haf 6daes of continuous holidaes.. youth dae nx mondae!!! hee i plan v far hor? haha

*ps* love looking at u when u fall aslp.. love u so much dear!!

one dae at hm i abt to rot le..there's a kind of restlessness in mi tt juz wun go awae..but still managed to study abit.. 10 chapters of maths read..haven even do tys yet..n there's still alot more chapters to go.. itching to go out tmr.. but i shall refrain frm doing so.. [ my prediction:i'll fall aslp in the aftrnn after my bro's gone for tuition.. haha =p ]perhaps it'll be self-fulfilling prophecy of a lazy pig. haha

can barely wait for common tests to be over. dunno y.. abit heck care abt results nw. keep procrastinating till prelims..till A-levels perhaps. n i dun like this attitude. when can i get off to a fresh start?

have already made plans to watch sunrise nx thurs wif shaun n ql...hopefully it'll happen..i dun think i've ever seen the sun rise..i muz wake up! =p

***************************************************************

@ 1:23 PM

hey..i'm ok alrite? haha juz thinking tooo much last nite..i'm back to being the usual mi=)

maths n maths for todae..cheer up evryone~!! life's beautiful.. =D

thinking many tots nw..cos i juz realised tt perhaps i've neglected my frens..i mean, ya, i do meet them..but most of the time, i dun really tink of them..i'm guilty of this,really..n i am sad tt i have become lidat..when all along my frens have been there for mi, have i been there for them? :( do they noe i'm here for them? i noe some of them think tt it's better nt to disturb mi, since i'm attached n perhaps busy doing other stuff..but i wld really wan them to noe tt i'll alwaes haf the time for them, no matter wad. cos they're my frens..n frens are for life. they've been there for mi, i wanna be there for them too.. the time when weeinn called mi late at nite, i was happy to be there for her, though it was juz talking,but she said it cheered her up.. y cldnt i do such a simple act often? becoming selfish ar? haiz.

the common tests seem to weigh evryone down n making them blue, n seeing them stressed n falling sick makes mi feel tt life isnt alwaes wad we expect it to be.. 18- it seems to be the perfect age for leading an independent carefree life..but the fact is, for the past 12 yrs, we've done nth but study. n the tot gets mi down. the crap abt getting a better job once armed wif a degree, it irks mi. first the education system aims to mould us into students wif gd academic results, n now halfwae thru MY education yrs, they sae they wan ppl hu are creative, when in the first half of my education, they juz wanted results. ironic ya? n how do they expect us to perform? haha..perhaps it's juz mi, hu's unable to adapt..but the tot of gg into the working society, even university, scares mi. i dunno wad i wan in life anymore..i guess i nv did.

my mom asked mi, wad wld she hafta do to get the family to go out happily, n come hm happily. usually we wld go out reluctantly, n come hm wif black faces, heading straight for our rms.. haiz. i'm guilty of nt putting myself in her shoes. she juz wanna catch more time wif her children, both hu are growing up fast, n increasingly having a mind of their own.. soon i'll be off to uni, n my bro to poly,n after tt ns..the chances of us sitting down n having dinner seems to be getting smaller, n yet i get fed up when she insists on doing stuff together.i'm nt a gd daughter,i make my parents worry too much, n i make them angry n hurt when i throw my tantrums. i dunno hw to communicate wif them, it seems tt they are trying to reach out to mi, but i'm nt responding.n now tt they are trying to let mi be, in the hope of getting mi to share my problems wif them, i'm retreating further into my own space. i haf a feeling this scenario is gonna be hard to change, but i cant help it.

perhaps i'm stifled by sch, by the weather, so i selfishly try to push my unhappiness to them, cos i noe tt after all, we're still family, n they'll stil be there.

i'm selfish. currently reflecting.

sorry to all tt i've hurt unknowingly, i'll try to be a better person, pls forgive mi.

n to those hu are currently facing the last wk of hols b4 the dreaded june common tests, dun despair, dun gif up.. it'll be over soon, pls gif it ur best shot.. =) n i'm here if u nid mi..i promise i will.

blog getting too long le.. haha shall try to stop myself frm blabbering. anywae todae's flag dae was nt bad, 2 hrs at pasir ris quite many ppl donated, cos nobody fight territory ma.. haha then after tt shaun n i went lib study la.. basically tt's all i did todae. hmm.. nw shall go do maths. =) binomial n induction. blea :P

the cycle of missing u starts all over again..

supposed to be slping, as my whole family has already zzzzed..hmm,funny..first time in a wk since euro cup started that all of them slp so early, even my bro.. are they trying to make mi guilty for coming hm late? hmm but they waited up for mi..i've gt a "curfew" at 1030pm..so i'm guai todae..

went to kallang to visit dear, hmm he looks v pale, make mi worried..but he promised to go c doc le, n now he's slpin, when i called his hse juz nw..he seldom slps so early, he muz be v sick le.. =(

frm kallang rush all the wae down to tamp to watch movie wif shaun n ql..haha asked shaun buy tix first,but then he sae he short of $0.10, cos he tot todae per tix @ $8.50..so i ask him wait lor, i reaching le..haha hu noes ql reach earlier than mi..so paisae make them wait.. haha

watched "ard the world in 80 daes".nt bad ar the show, quite funny..but sit beside shaun ar abit the scary, cos he luff is v loud one..boom kind..haha so bit deaf n paisae. n we finished the popcorn 15 mins into the show..hmm they shld really shorten the commercial time..

after movie we really walked the whole of tm until legs gonna break le..cos arnd 7pm is dinnertime ma, budden evrywhere no space n somemore we nt hungry, so we finally decided on.................SWENSEN'S!!! haha cos gt ice-cream craving ma..plus we v long nv eat such stuff le.. haha budden after sitting for 2 hrs, bit regret la.. kaoz..one giant earthquake n one fish n chips cost $42.40 la!!~!!!!!! outrageous rite? $30 sth already v ex le. pengz sia. haha first time in a long while since i travel hm with no money in my wallet. so broke. haha but nvm la.. =p din spend much this wk too...

realised tt this 2 yrs in jc are probably gonna be the most forgettable in my entire sch history..haiz. nt exactly a very enriching lifestyle u noe..though i made some great frens,budden the majority is studying.. i noe i'm nt ALWAES studying..but u noe..the stress of studying is there.. haiz. hw to explain lehz. means i juz dun enjoy jc life la. shld i thank god it's over? budden there's still A-levels.. in 4.5 mths~!!!!!!!!!

trsut shaun to remind us tt we have another 12 wks to prelims. haha..n now i noe.. there's 11 wks to my bdae~!!! hahaha..i only get to be 18 once..n the nx dae has to be first dae of prelims. sianz. y mi?? haha 16 yrs old tt yr oso lidat. nx dae prac exam. so irritating...haha but tt's life rite? =p

shaun sae i become mature. n he sae is gd. haha ok lor. dunno la.. lately i think we grew up. haha.. 2 yrs of jc really changed us alot..hope if for the better... n juz nw after toking to them, gt bit stress to study..haha but muz oso haf determination, n after having wasted a few wks, i muz sae i bit tempted to juz let ct go..but i will let myself down. so i shall nt. n U shall nt too, my frenz~!!!! hahaha

tmr flag dae.sianz. haha.then sundae go celeb my cousin's 6th bdae..she getting older so m i.. haha

n i still cant believe shuan's attached. like so fast. hahaha but at least he followed his heart, as i knew my nianning will haf no effect wadesoeva. he's shaun u noe. =p

quiz

did sth on http://www.naucon.net/misc/tests/love_test01.htm

1. You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and
free.

2. In the process of courtship, the approach that would make you
feel irresistable is creative, never let you feel bored.

3. The impression you would like to give to your lover is loyal,
faithful, never change.

4. What you hate most in your partner is that the person is
ruthless, cold-blooded, and/or ironic.

5. The kind of relationship you would like to build with your
partner is that both of you can talk about everything and
anything, no secret is kept.

6. You care about the society and morality, you won't do anything
wrong after marriage.

7. You think of marriage as a precious thing. Once you get married,
you'll treasure it and your partner very much.

8. At this moment, you think of love as a committment for both parties.


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@ 9:01 PM


dear unwell todae, so cant go out le.. ah~!! miss him so much.. dying soon x_x but i promised him tt i will study todae..so i will, even if i bore to death.. i will study de~! but still, very sad.. juz hope sat can c him..

*u r in my heart,alwaes* muackz~!

***************************************************************

@ 8.45 PM


haha first blog lehz... =)hahah

ydae studied wif gen maths..i think i forgot all formulae la..todae studied chem wif leen weeinn hong n yinjie..n i realised i forgot almost evrything under organic chem. blea. hw to survive? help anyone?

within 2 daes hor, i eat abt 3-4 packets of potato chips la..haha scary rite? n gen insisted on buying chocs for mi.. will i fall sick again? hope nt.. *pray hard hard* if nt i will kena scolding again..

i v seldom wanna go swimming one lehz..budden turns out i cant go swimming le. sianz. =( but nvm, there's alwaes a nx time, for tt sudden inspirational moment when i wanna move my fat butt. haha

oh yea, haha u ppl dun expect much fancy stuff on my blog k.. i juz added the cbox but nth else special..wail till after common test maybe then i go do sth nice to this blog..

weeinn asked all of us todae wad's our wish list.. haha thinking tt evryone of my fren shld all gimme a wish list at the beginning of the yr, or at least near their bdae..lidat i buy their present no nid so head8..though i noe buy present shld be wad i think the person will like most, but i think tt if buy sth they wan or nid it'll be better..n no nid risk tt person not liking the present rite? haha n when weeinn asked.. i gt nth much tt i wan lehz.. hahah budden she forced mi la, so i squeezed out 5 items, which i cant really rmb.. sorry ar.. hahah btw~~~~my bdae: 12th Sept!! gg to be 18 soon le.. =)*hint* haha..budden i'm one person hu u cant ask a wish list frm, cos i'm a HAPPY ger~! :D

eh, juz ydae i was thinking on self-reflecting lehz..budden ydae i nv online.. did i? i dun think so.. n so i din blog..n nw my tots lost again..haha as usual.. another dae perhaps.. =p

dun wan blog le..getting longer ah my entries, more n more like shaun's... hahah

finally tmr..i get to c u..